“My day started like any other.”
Just a normal day. Got up early, brewed my coffee, opened God’s Word…until doubt crept into my heart from the enemy. Okay, it didn’t creep. It was a flat-on, smack-me-in-my-coffee-guzzling-mouth attack! “You’re failing.” Where did that come from? Good-bye, Perfect Mom of the Year Award! I’m a failure.
Consequently, what proceeded was the following: worry, doubt, crabbiness, a few untimely, unkind, snappy remarks, and some woe-is-me pity parties. Dismay from piled-up dishes? Check. General ungratefulness about my life? Done. In the checkout line at Costco I even snarked to my daughter “I don’t care!” and then spun the wheels in my mind to justify the words when she rightfully called me out on them.
But after an apology for the comment that afternoon, realizing I had let my poor attitude choices affect my whole day, the bedtime conversation with my daughter went like this:
Me: (Heavy sigh)”I’m sorry I’m not a perfect mom.”
Her: “It’s okay. You don’t have to be a perfect mom.”
Me: “And you don’t have to be a perfect daughter.”
Her: “I know, mom.”
Three of the simplest lessons about being the perfect mom:
From that short, less-than-a-minute, vulnerable moment with my daughter as she lay in bed, here are three of the simplest (yet, sometimes the hardest) lessons for a mom and daughter to learn, no matter their age:
- I don’t need to be perfect.
- I won’t expect you to be perfect.
- We will love each other in our imperfection.
The sooner, the better.
Fellow moms, the sooner we begin teaching these simple truths to our daughters the better. She will carry these lessons past these small moments with you and into her current and adult relationships.
In addition, she will learn to set aside pride to be humble.
Furthermore, she will learn to put away condemnation to experience what grace truly is, not just in her head, but in real life.
And most importantly, she will know how to receive grace through her Savior Jesus Christ and extend it to others.
And, moms, let’s not forget: the sooner we truly embrace these messages for ourselves, the better.
Is it too late?
Friends, even if you think it might be too late for you, it’s not. You can start today by asking God to humble you and show you how to be a grace-filled mom. Ask Him for the words to say. Because I’ve struggled with this in the past, I’d like to share a verse with you. One of my favorite Proverbs that has served me so well in this area of asking for wisdom is Proverbs 2:1-5. I love that it encourages us to seek wisdom like a hidden treasure…
“1My son [daughter], if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.”
Maybe you think it’s too late for your daughter. It’s not. Your graciousness towards her can melt hours, days, even years of bitterness and anger and put you both on the pathway to forgiveness.
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24
But if nothing else…
But if nothing else, friends…if the words don’t come today or the opportunity is presented tomorrow, or you just need a bit of extra time to embrace God’s truth, I hope you go into this day embracing these wise words from my daughter for yourself: “It’s okay. You don’t have to be a perfect mom.”What kinds of blessing have you seen when you’ve humbled yourself before your daughter? And how can I pray for you? Comment below.
