Today, in my mind, I saw myself standing on the rocky shoreline of a great ocean.

And I was looking at a longtime friend as she stood on a boat that was pulling her and many others out to sea.

She was calling to me, asking why I was going so far away from her.  She was shocked that I was drifting from her, trying to convince me not to go, giving me so many reasons… not realizing that I hadn’t moved. 

I hadn’t moved in a very. long. time.

But the boat kept drifting and our distance grew.  She began getting frustrated. And no matter how clear it was that my feet remained planted on the shore and that her boat was adrift, and no matter how many times I pointed to my feet on the rocks, all she could comprehend was our increased separation. 

And as she squinted to see me, now a speck in her distance, she shook her head, disappointed in my leaving.

And on my shoreline, I knew. My friend never even realized she had stepped on board.  Or maybe she had and assumed I would come along. Either way, I sadly watched her disappear on the horizon. 

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Grief over lost friends and family is hard.

We watch our unbelieving friends and family head down paths of darkness, sin, and despair.  We see them following the world whole-heartedly, changing their minds with each new sinful trend, listening to the culture and taking it all in.

It’s as if they’ve gotten on board an invisible boat, drifting further and further into sin.  Then one day, they turn around and see YOU far away, standing firm, and are shocked that you still believe in Jesus, in the Bible, in one-man-one-woman-for-a-lifetime, in sin and repentance and eternal life…

But instead of wondering how it is you’ve both become so different from one another, they assume that YOU are the one who has changed.  They can only conceive that the problem must be you.

Suddenly you’re considered “extreme”, “old-fashioned”, “bigoted” and “intolerant” because of how far the cultural current has taken THEM from where you stand.

If you’re like me, you try your best to be winsome yet truthful, to communicate clearly with kindness and boldness.  You share verses and perspectives that you’ve developed from carefully reading God’s Word. You don’t do it perfectly, but you try.

But ultimately, as they continue to drift or they listen to the world’s call to “cut out toxic people”, you grieve.  Why?

Because no matter how much you try and explain and share and love and listen, the truth is, you can’t open their eyes to the reality that their vessel is full of holes and heading for destruction. 

You grieve because you’ve been there and you’ve seen it and you know that sin ALWAYS over-promises and under-delivers.

You grieve because as a believer in Jesus, the worst thing you can imagine is someone embracing their sin and rejecting eternal life and forgiveness in Jesus Christ.

Yes, you grieve. 

But. You don’t stop there. 

Friend, your grief should TURN YOU to the only One who CAN open their eyes, to the One who never “under-delivers”, to the One who snatched YOU off the sinking vessel and placed you on the Solid Rock: JESUS CHRIST.

Fellow women of God, I believe that it is a great mercy for God to show us the sinful depravity of the world. It moves our hearts to grieve. And grief can be a powerful catalyst.

If we DON’T experience the deep sadness of our friends and family someday being eternally separated from the Father, we show that we really have very little concern for them at all.  

But when we DO allow our hearts to grieve those who are still physically alive but are spiritually dead, it motivates us to pray fervently to our Father in Heaven on their behalf.  We pray passionately to Him, that he would save them and do what we simply can’t do on our own. He did it with us and he can do it again.

And I believe that, even in grief, friends, we can experience supernatural hope and peace as we trust God with our requests.

We are not a people without hope. We just don’t hope in ourselves or our culture or our pastors or even devotions like these to change hearts. Our hope is in the solid, unchanging, unmoving God of the Universe and the foundation of Jesus Christ, the Son of God who takes away the sins of the World. He is in the business of making dead people come to life.

And he CAN save them. Maybe he’ll use us for that, maybe not. But either way, we can trust him. We must pray for it!

Friend, do not give up hope. Grieve for lost family and friends, then use the depth of that sorrow to pray for them. Keep standing firm, renew your mind in God’s Word every chance you get, pray for opportunities to share the Gospel with the lost, and trust him, once again, today. I’ll join you.

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