Devotion 2 of 6 is about your daughter flourishing through favorable planting. The word “flourish” means, “to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as a result of a favorable environment.” These devotions focus on 6 factors that will help your daughter flourish like a flower. To read more about the series “Flourish”, click here.
Favorable Planting
Gardeners know that flourishing flowers require careful, favorable planting. As a mom, do YOU provide “favorable planting” for your daughter so she can flourish into who God created her to be?
In our first devotion, we covered the right space and light for your daughter. For devotion 2, we are considering how she flourishes with depth, direction, protection, and season.
Depth
When I go to the local nursery, one factor I consider is the planting depth the flower needs to flourish. When it comes to your daughter, do you consider her depth? The world needs more girls & women who are concerned with what’s beneath the surface.
Before Samuel chose David as king of Israel over his seven older brothers, God said to Samuel,
“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
The heart is so important to God. And how precious is a girl’s humble, soft heart to her Father!
A girl who flourishes is encouraged to go deeper in her relationships with others and Christ. Nurturing depth in your daughter can be an hour-long discussion when you go out for ice cream. Or it can take place during several, intentional moments throughout the day, such as driving to swim practice, eating dinner together, or winding down for bed.
And those moments that encourage depth may begin with what happened at school or what’s going on in a friend’s family. But they end with what matters most: connecting it to your daughter’s character, seeing others through God’s eyes, what it looks like to love others, etc.
Start small and don’t be discouraged if you get little response. Work at it and be intentional. Then listen and engage graciously.
Favorable Direction
Did you know if you’re not careful, you can plant flower bulbs upside-down? It’s not to say they won’t eventually bloom, but it makes the job a lot harder.
Some parents take that approach with their daughter’s faith. They mistakenly believe that by not pointing them in the “right” direction, they’re giving them freedom to choose what they feel is best.
However, as Christians, we know that anytime you don’t point a child “up” to Christ, you’re pointing them “down”. There’s no neutral way to point them. Look at what God says through his servant James:
“…Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4
Your daughter is either being pointed toward friendship with God or the world. When helping your daughter flourish, “plant” her toward an intimate friendship with God. Throughout the day, she’s faced with temptations. Pray with her, pointing her to Christ who desires an ever-closer relationship. And don’t assume that because you take her to church or youth group that she’s squared away. Keep reminding her and never take the neutral approach or you’ll find yourself pointing her away from her Savior.
Favorable Protection
The most beautiful, flourishing flower gardens are protected. Gardeners are careful to protect plants from choking weeds and extreme temperatures by covering them with mulch.
Does your daughter feel protected? If she feels safe in her environment, your daughter will flourish the way God created her. Some simple ways are to know her schedule and location. Enforce a reasonable curfew. Know who is coming and going from your home. Know her friends, their families, and their contact info. Be aware of what is going on at school.
Sleepovers
I know it’s a controversial stance, but consider NOT allowing her to attend sleepovers. As a kid, I attended sleepovers, but times have changed. Sexual exploitation and child pornography run rampant (along with the acceptance of pornography in general). Keeping your daughter from the slumber party experience will not break her childhood. But one unsupervised experience at a slumber party could. I’m by no means saying this is God’s steadfast word, but for more information about this viewpoint, check out the link at the end of this post.
Instinct
In high school, I really wanted to go with some friends to San Antonio. It was three hours drive. My mom trusted me and my friends. However, she didn’t want me driving that far unsupervised. I got angry, complained, and sulked, but she stuck with her decision. Her experience told her it was a bad idea. Now, I appreciate her protection.
Part of helping your daughter flourish is to trust your instinct about a situation or person in your daughter’s life. Some girls have a lot of naivety and some are blessed/taught to have situational awareness. Whether your daughter is extremely trusting or cautious, mama, your job is to be kind, but firm and protective. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to be the “bad guy” and say no. She may not appreciate it now, but your experience trumps her desire to enter a questionable situation.
And if your daughter is showing uneasiness about a person or situation, don’t brush it off. Pay attention. She may not feel comfortable expressing her thoughts, so don’t be afraid to step in. You’re modeling to her how to pay attention to her God-given instincts when something doesn’t feel right. You’re showing her it’s ok to say “no”.
Favorable Season
Not every plant grows in spring and flourishes in summer. Flowers flourish in particular seasons, just like us.
What kind of season is your daughter in?
- A busy season, needing your help managing her time, talents, and emotions?
- A sad season, needing your nurturing love and quiet presence?
- A challenging season, needing your consistent discipline and gracious forgiveness?
- A season of independence, needing your verbal encouragement and more time on her own?
- A season of natural transition, with puberty around the corner?
As girls, we, too went through a whole gamut of seasons, right? And we either flourished or didn’t get the love/action/support we needed to come out on the other side successfully.
Regardless of your past, evaluate your daughter’s season and the one coming next. Pray for her and ask God to give you wisdom to parent her well. How you currently parent her may not be what she needs 6 months from now, but God is already there and can give you exactly what you need to help her flourish.
Conclusion
These are just four ways you can create favorable planting for your daughter. I hope they got you thinking and that you’ll leave a comment! Next, we will focus on favorable soil for your daughter: rich with no weeds. Please come back!
Questions
- When is the best time to ask your daughter questions that will take her deeper? What can you ask her this week?
- What can you do this week to help point your daughter towards Christ?
- Are there areas of your daughter’s life that need better protection?
- How can you pray for and help your daughter flourish in her current season?
Links
Why My Family Doesn’t Do Sleepovers
