When you hear the word “cherished”, do you imagine something precious?  Embracing something close because it’s special?  Is it deeply loved and valuable to you, like a treasure?

So many girls and women don’t realize they are CHERISHED by God.

He’s created each of us uniquely.  So we are precious and valuable to him, like a treasure, with no strings attached. Psalm 139 says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”.

However, as girls and women, we have come to believe our value comes from elsewhere.  We’ve been told value can be found within, if we just look for our goodness and follow our hearts.  And we’ve been told value can be found outside in success, approval, influence.  We hold ourselves and other women to an impossible standard.  We’re defeating ourselves, making our value contingent and consistently out-of-reach.

But although these counterfeits distract us from the truth of our value in Christ, I want to talk about an opponent that makes the fight for our value even harder: sexual exploitation.   While the Made Matchless mission is to help girls and women find their value, identity, and power in Jesus Christ, sexual exploitation DEvalues, MISidentifies, and DISempowers girls & women.  The world has taken the God-given sexuality of women (a beautiful thing) and heinously abused it to make us doubt our value.

What exactly is sexual exploitation?

According to USLegal.com, “Sexual exploitation means taking advantage of the sexuality and attractiveness of a person to make a personal gain or profit. It is the abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust for sexual purposes.”

Now, before we jump to action, angered by the realities of sexual exploitation (and we should be), you should know: this isn’t going to be only about the problems “out there”.  The source of this problem is not isolated to creeps on the internet, wolves in sheep’s clothing, and pimps.  If it were, we’d round them up and consider the problem solved.

My hope is, after reading this, you are just as upset at your OWN possible contribution as you are with what happens on street corners and in corner offices–upset enough to do something.

God’s intention is for women to find their value in Christ. 

It’s true. As a woman, when you believe you are valuable simply because you’re created by God, the other counterfeits of the world become less alluring.  You’re relieved knowing your value isn’t determined by accomplishments, accolades, and academics.  Nothing can increase or decrease your value to God.  You can forfeit the comparison game and enter a life of true purpose, the way God created you.  It’s amazing!

But when sexual exploitation enters the ring, the fight’s harder.  The message of a girl or woman’s value is tied to her both emotionally AND physically.  It’s no longer just a lie to be dispelled because many times, something physical has actually been DONE to reinforce these messages deeper.  Messages like…

• “You are not valuable enough to cherish, respect, or treat with dignity.”
• “Your value is based on what I can take from you and you’re worth less once I’ve taken it.”
• “Your value is based on how you look and how you can perform sexually.”

Even when no physical contact has been made, we experience the undeniable effects of the exploitation deep in our souls.

Jesus has a different message. 

Jesus always treated women with dignity and honor in a culture that viewed women as lower-class citizens.  He talked with them, healed them, cared for them, and wept with them.  And Jesus’ message continues to be, “I love you right where you are.  I love you enough to die for you.”  We are cherished by him!

So can you imagine God’s view of sexual exploitation? Taking his precious treasures and treating them as disposable?  When politicians use women for their own gratification, it says, “Your value is what you can give me.”  When strip club billboards line our highways, they say, “Your value is attached to these parts of your body.” Sexual harassment, abuse, sex trafficking, pornography–these all DEvalue God’s cherished creations. It’s sickening, saddening, and maddening, but these aren’t the only culprits.

What about “acceptable” offenders?

Acceptable offenders are those in our culture that communicate and consume the same messages, even if those involved are “willing”.

Let me ask you: Are there ways -you- “accept” the message that a woman’s value is tied to her sexuality or downplay the harm in that message?

I’m not talking about simply admiring beauty.  I’m saying when a sexually-charged scene is on your favorite show or movie, do you turn away?  Turn it off?  Decide not to watch it again?

Or do you justify it?  “She did that scene willingly.” “But the story line is so good!”  “I’m not affected by these kinds of scenes.”

Even if you’re not affected (which is doubtful), have you considered this?  The producers feel that an actress’ sexuality makes the show better.  This shifts the value from the actress to her sexuality.

Furthermore, instead of her vulnerable spirit and sexuality being expressed beautifully in the precious, private confines of her loving marriage, it’s exposed to the open eyes and minds of millions of consumers.  And they’ve placed the price of a Netflix subscription on it.

And we kinda love it.  In fact, we hope for a Season 2 and for the book to made into a movie.

“But she’s been paid for it.”

Most of us would never dream of paying a woman to come into our living room to take off her clothing.  But that’s exactly what we pay for when we watch it on TV.

If you can agree that an actress has value completely separate from her sexuality, perhaps even agree that she was made in the image of God, and yet watch her have sex with a man, saying “But she’s been paid for it,”  that’s hypocrisy. We can’t insist that women be cherished and valued–even MARCH for it–and then accept them being used for the sexual satisfaction of consumers.  We can’t have it both ways.

“She did it willingly.”

I remember when my daughter first noticed a Hooters restaurant.  “Look, Mommy!  There’s an owl on the sign!  It’s called Hooters!”

I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, “That place doesn’t treat women with dignity or respect.  Women are valuable to God and that place doesn’t treat them with value.  We are always to treat women with value and dignity.”

I then shared with my kids how important it is to not look down on women who work in places like that.  As Christ-followers, it’s so important to give our children a whole picture of sin, forgiveness, and redemption.

And it’s equally important to have compassion, to try to understand why someone makes choices without judging their motives.

Are the women working in Hooters willingly?  Yes, possibly.  But “willingly” might mean its her best option out of two choices.  It might mean it’s all she knows, based on the tapes of her past.  We don’t know.

My daughter needed one message that day: she has value simply because God made her.   And my son needed one message:  he has the duty to treat every woman with honor and dignity, no matter where she finds herself in life.

The excuse that women “willingly” give themselves up to sexual exploitation continues to promote exploitation.  Don’t get me wrong, there are indeed women who willingly live in sexual sin, deeply mistaken in why they are valuable.  But as long as we believe that “willingly” means “exploitable”, then men will struggle to truly cherish women and women will struggle to truly feel cherished.

Your new lens

It’s time to view what we do, think, watch, and read through the lens of VALUING and CHERISHING women as image-bearers of God.  We must take an intentional, penetrating look at what we allow into our homes, families, thoughts, and lives.

But first, let me ask you this…

Do YOU know you are cherished by God?

You weren’t created by accident and his love for you isn’t dependent on what you’ve done or not done.  It’s everlasting.  He created you, so you are precious to him.  Because of that, he can save you from your sin today.  If you feel his calling now, turn from your sin and receive his forgiveness.  He’ll make you new.  You’ll begin to understand how much you are cherished by him.

Only a God who cherishes his creations would be willing to die for them.

To DIE for.  That’s you.

Until you embrace your value to God, you’ll always search for strings attached and alternate reasons why others should cherish you.

The timing of this post isn’t accidental. 

In 2017, we saw many politicians (including our President) and celebrities admitting to sexually exploiting others.   Our culture, from top to bottom, is saturated with sex.

And did you know January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month?  According to the FBI website, “Human trafficking, believed to be the third-largest criminal activity in the world, is a form of human slavery… Human trafficking includes forced labor, domestic servitude, and commercial sex trafficking.”  Our world has a devastating, insatiable addiction to sex, pornography, and sexual exploitation.  And, according to the FBI, it’s not only in dark alleys.  It’s in our neighborhoods, schools, closer than we think.

But, sister, you can help change the course of the next generation!  How?

Here are some ways to fight sexual exploitation in your communities and home:

• Refuse to consume media that doesn’t treat people as “cherished” and valuable.  View shows, movies, commercials, websites, novels, and photos through this lens.
• Teach your family members to look away when sexually-charged images appear.
• Repent of the times you’ve been an “acceptable” offender and receive Christ’s forgiveness.
• Sexual exploitation never respects “stop”, so enforce the rule in your family that when someone says, “Stop!” to assume they mean it, even if they’re laughing.  As we say in our home, “Stop immediately, the first time it’s heard.”
• 

  To learn more about how you can buy this shirt and help stop sex trafficking, click here.

  Support organizations like WellSpring Living and Exodus Cry that help those caught in/coming out of sexual exploitation.

• Purchase one of Made Matchless’ “Cherished” clothing items.  All profits will be donated to Exodus Cry and come in infant to adult sizes.
• Statistics show the average child first sees pornography at age 9.  Educate your children on the harms of pornography and enforce rules for internet use. Recommended resource:  “Good Pictures, Bad Pictures”
• Have an ongoing conversation with your children about what healthy sex is and isn’t, teaching them it’s between a married man and woman, as God intended.  Recommended resource when they’re young: “Before I Was Born: God’s Design for Sex”
• Exploitation happens youth-to-youth, too.  Regularly check in with your kids about friendships, conversations happening among peers, and what’s appropriate/not.
• Restrict your child’s technology and social media use.
• Check out StopItNow.org for ways to talk with your kids about sexual abuse.
• Have an ongoing conversation with your family about the value ALL people have as God’s image-bearers.
• Know the signs of sexual abuse in youth, taking action when necessary.
• Know the signs that someone is a victim of trafficking , taking action when necessary.
• If you’ve been a victim of sexual exploitation and have never told anyone, tell someone!  See a trusted Christian counselor who can help you heal from emotional and physical trauma, as well as help you see your value in Christ.
• When a friend opens up about her pain, listen without judgment, asking how you can help.
• Financially support women who are pregnant and think they have no options.  We can’t affirm the undeniable value of women while denying the value of unborn women and their moms.  Let’s be consistent.  A great organization for information and support is ProGrace .
• Pray for opportunities to share these truths.
• Live authentically.  It’s hypocrisy when Christians say they care but do nothing or sweep things under the rug.  Sins need to be exposed to the light.  Read Ephesians 5:1-20 to see what God says about this!
• Share this post with a friend.

Girls and women will continue to look for value in things other than Christ and there will always be people looking to exploit us.  The enemy spreads pretty convincing lies about our value, to hurt us in our most vulnerable places.  But as Christians we have the matchless power of Christ IN us to change the course, one person, action, and choice at a time.

What would you add to the list of ways to help?  Comment below.