the path of least resistance

What is a “path of least resistance”?  You’re hiking through a thick forest, off the beaten path.  As you forge through, leaves crunching under your boots, you look for the easiest way to get to your destination.  The brush is thinner over there, so you instinctively alter your path to make the hike easier.  There’s a fallen tree to your right so you go left.  You could hike over the steep hill but you go around it instead.  It’s the path of least resistance for you.

As you approach a clearing, a small stream comes into view.  The crystal water glides around the mossy rocks, having smoothed them down to rounded stones.  Over fleeting centuries, you can see the water never blasted it’s way straight through the woods, but instead twisted and turned, finding the easiest way downhill.  And as the small river effortlessly flows, the cold, silky water takes the path of least resistance.

When love takes the path of least resistance

This morning I read a question that asked how human love compares to the love of Christ.  So I listed attributes of typical human love as I’ve experienced it and, sadly, have given it:

  • conditional
  • self-serving
  • fickle, changing
  • strings attached
  • temporary

Then I paused and the imagery of a stream (like the one I described above) came to mind.  So I added:

  • takes the path of least resistance.

Love like a bubbling stream

I imagined human love like the bubbling stream.  When love takes the path of least resistance, as so often it does in our world and even in the church, it takes the easiest way it can.  It flows around conflict, avoiding it.  It sees that difficult-to-love person in the store and glides down the next aisle instead.  Love that takes the path of least resistance sees trouble churning in their child’s heart and just hopes they’ll “pass through this phase”.  It hears lies, knows the truth, and stays silent in fear of what others will say.  It never does the hard thing, in hopes of easily carving it’s way downstream to its restful destination.

the path of least resistanceDoing what’s comfortable

Or sometimes, love that takes the path of least resistance looks a bit different.  Sometimes this love knows what God calls it to do, but settles stubbornly into old, destructive, comfortable habits.  After all, it’s hard to change and it’s hard to love people who aren’t lovable.

Love that takes this path of least resistance does what it has always done when it’s challenged to love others.  It gossips, explodes in anger, gets bitter, puffs up with self-righteousness, or gets passive aggressive (perhaps under the guise of “tough love”).  Sometimes it does absolutely nothing, regardless of the hard thing God calls it to do.   Instead of seeing an opportunity to show the love of Christ to a difficult person, whether by sharing truth or giving grace, it does what it always does because it’s easiest.  This path of least resistance continues on as usual because change–the right kind of change–is too hard, and perhaps, too humbling.

Is it even love?

Taking the path of least resistance is actually not love at all.  It’s selfish, human love.  We pray that we can love like Christ but let’s face it:  Christ-like love is hard.

Really hard.

And we don’t want hard.  We pray for it, but we don’t really want it.  We want easy, lovable people around us at all times, not difficult love.

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is it to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.”  Luke 6:32

We say, “I’ll only love people who are lovable, treat me with dignity, believe and look just like me.  But if you challenge me with your differences, disrespect, threatening way of life, or simply your personality, you get nothing.”

So we cut people off, ignore them, avoid them, fear them, withhold affection, chew them out, or close ourselves off.  We surround ourselves with friends (seemingly) just like us who can make us feel all warm & fuzzy inside.  And we do feel that way for a little while until the next love-challenge comes.  Maybe it’s through a spouse, child, family member, or friend.  And the cycle begins again.

That is NOT love.  We can expect that from the world, but Christians are called to something better.

So how was Christ different?  And how can we truly step up to love like Christ did?

Love that took the path of highest resistance

the path of least resistanceAlthough human love always takes the path of least resistance, Jesus’ love always took the path of highest resistance, even to the cross. He didn’t move around the lepers, but touched them. He didn’t condemn the sinful woman but forgave her sins.  Jesus didn’t run away from the Pharisees’ trapping questions, but engaged with them.  He didn’t walk down the opposite side of the street of sinners, but ate with them in their homes.

And the most powerful, loving thing Christ ever did was walk that dreadful path up to Golgotha, suffer, and die for our sins.  Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Friends, we like to think we are lovable, agreeable people.  But have you considered how much resistance Christ faced in order to display his pure, perfect love for US?

While we avoid, explode, judge, condemn, refuse, withhold, and stay silent, Christ engaged, forgave, healed, entered in, sat with, ate with, and LOVED.  With sinners.  With US.  Christ had every right, as a holy God, to love with least resistance, but his nature is to love with most resistance.  God IS love.  Jesus does the difficult love, the challenging love, and he did it gladly, perfectly.  And because he has chosen to love US, we must choose to love others.

Will we ever be able to love like that?

In our human nature, we cannot love the way Christ did…on our own.  We are not off the hook simply because Christ did it perfectly.  In fact, Jesus gave his disciples “a new command” before he died in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  

john 13:35This is a command, not an option if the conditions are right or a choice based on how we are treated.  Can we love like Christ, with the path of highest resistance?  Can we do the difficult love when we’ve spent years doing the easy, comfortable thing?  Yes, but only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

If you’re ready to do the hard thing, to love the way Christ did, but you’re not sure sure if you can, you’re in good company.  Why?  Because the only way to do it will be with Christ working in you and through you, alongside Christians who are seeking to love when it’s hard, too.  And you can be comforted knowing that loving when it’s difficult is a blessing from Christ, a moment when you can join with him as he helps you become a bit more like himself.  If that’s you, please pray this confidently with me…

God, I’ve loved by taking the path of least resistance, not loving the way you call me to.  I’ve done what is wrong in your sight and turned others away from your true love because of my artificial, self-serving love.  I’ve done what’s easy for too long and I’m ready for the challenge.  God, fill me with your Holy Spirit to love when it’s hard.  Give me a right view of my own sin so I can love the way you did, the way you DO.  Bring others in my life that will grow me in this.  Help me mend relationships that have fallen because I chose the path of least resistance.  Help me take the path of highest resistance because that’s what you did for me on the cross.  Thank you for loving me.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Your FellowMatchless Beauty,

 

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If you give a stay-at-home mom a cookie

If you give a stay-at-home mom a cookie, she’s going to wonder whether it’s too early in the day to eat one.

When she wonders if it’s too early, she’ll look at the clock for the time.

When she looks at the clock, she’ll say, “Oh, shoot!  We’ve got to leave in ten minutes for that birthday party!  Everyone get your shoes on ASAP!”

When she tells everyone to get their shoes on ASAP, all the children will move like molasses.

When the children move like molasses, she’ll be reminded she needs to go to the grocery store to pick up molasses for her dinner recipe.

When she wonders what other ingredients she’ll need, she’ll remember that the recipe she’s making was posted on Facebook.

When she looks up the recipe on Facebook, she’ll see that the friend who posted the recipe isn’t feeling well.

She’ll decide to make her some homemade chicken noodle soup to bring over…you know, in her “spare time”.

When she decides to make the soup, she’ll decide NOT to rely on her memory and instead scribble her list of everything she needs at the grocery store.

Once her list is scribbled, she’ll grab up the kids (and their shoes that are still on the floor) and load them into the car for the grocery store.

When she loads them into the car, she’ll realize it looks like the fruit snack factory and the library started World War III in the back seat.

When she thinks about the library, she’ll recall that the library books all over the back seat are overdue and need to be returned.

When she returns the books to the library, she’ll pay $38 in fines and will then be determined to save money for the kids’ college fund.  So she picks up a newspaper with coupons in it.

As she quickly rips coupons in the car, she’ll find some for the grocery store and will remember she still needs to go before the birthday party.

When she’s in the grocery store, she’ll grab a basket to carry her items in.

As she’s walking with her basket, she’ll see ten additional things she needs and will exchange the basket for a cart.

After getting her cart, she’ll miraculously find all the ingredients on her list (even though she left the list on the kitchen counter).  She’ll get in line.

Once she’s in line, she’ll remembers about the birthday party and have to give up her spot in line to get a card.

Once they’re in the birthday card section, two out of three of her kids will say they have to go to the restroom…on the opposite side of the store.

Once she’s in the restroom helping her kids pee, she’ll look at the questionable toilet seat and will be reminded that the flu is going around.

When she thinks about the flu, she’ll scrub those kids’ hands raw!

When she sees how dry her kids’ skin is, she’ll feel bad and pick up some paraben-free lotion on the way to the checkout aisle.

As she’s lotioning up her children’s hands in the checkout aisle, they’ll complain about being hungry.

When they complain about being hungry, she’ll remind them that they ate a family-size bag of veggie straws and a package of string cheese 15 minutes ago.

When she reminds them of that, they’ll say, “But I’m still hungry!”

When they say they’re still hungry, she’ll say, “You shouldn’t be.”

If you give a stay-at-home mom a cookieWhen she says they shouldn’t be, they’ll say, “But we are!”

When they say they are, she’ll reluctantly look at the rack of candy and snacks in the checkout aisle.

As she scans over the snacks, she’ll remember she didn’t eat breakfast and her stomach will grumble.

When her stomach grumbles, she’ll gaze longingly at a bag of cookies.

And chances are, if she gazes longingly at a bag of cookies, she’s going to wonder whether it’s too early in the day to eat one.

 

Fellow stay-at-home moms, you make so many decisions over the course of the day.  Be encouraged: your job is important & valuable!  God sees your day and all you do.  And don’t worry…it’s never too early to eat a cookie.

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Your FellowMatchless Beauty,

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Mom, show me what love is.  Don’t tell me.  Show me.

When your friend’s doing something that hurts her, love her enough to tell her.  But do it gently, Mom.  How you treat her when she’s wrong says a lot to me.  She may not like you when you say it, but love her anyway.

And when she’s hurting from that bad choice she made, love her by listening, giving her grace, praying for her.  How you treat her shows me grace is for imperfect people just like me.

That guy at work said some mean things about you today.  Show me what love is.  Don’t lash back like the world, Mom.  Show me how to love your enemies by seeing them through God’s eyes.  Tell me how, even when it’s hard, love responds radically differently than the world…that “the greatest of these is love”.

When our neighbor shares that article, Mom, and it upsets you to the core, don’t comment in anger. Stop, think, breathe, and try to see life through her eyes.  You’ll show me that love is slow to anger and speak, and sometimes doesn’t speak at all.

Mom, I see how your sister presses your buttons.  I know you sometimes lose it with her.  Show me what love is and apologize.  Because when I lose it, I need to see that love asks for forgiveness.  It doesn’t give excuses for the wrongs it does or wait for the other person to be sorry.  It just tries to make things right when it’s done what’s wrong.  Forgive her, Mom, whether she asks for it or not.

By the way, I’m sorry, Mom.  I know I left my towel on the bathroom floor again.  As much as I don’t like cleaning, don’t pick it up for me.  Show me love by holding me responsible and sticking to it.  And when I forget again, try to be patient with me.  I really want to be responsible.  I really want to meet your expectations, but I’m still learning.  While you’re at it…

Encourage me to work hard.  Be my cheerleader.  I’ll want to give up.  I’ll say, “It’s too hard.  I just can’t do it.” You’ve overcome so much, Mom.  Show me that hard work matters and that struggles make us strong.  Show me that love builds others up when it’s tough.  Pray over me, pray WITH me for God’s strength to overcome.  Because I want to encourage others to overcome, just like you taught me.

Philippians 4:5Mom, many friends voted differently than you did this election.  Show me what love is, that love speaks respectfully with those who see life through different eyes.  Mom, you’ve told me that love listens to understand and shares it’s views with humility and graciousness.  Show me that love doesn’t judge the motives of the heart.  It doesn’t back down from truth, but it also doesn’t shove truth in someone’s face.  Love is reasonable.

Some of those people will accuse you of loving with beliefs, but not action.  Show me what love is, Mom–that love isn’t just good intentions.  Love IS action.  It stands up for the oppressed, feeds the homeless, and helps single moms.  Show me how love brings a meal to a friend who’s husband has cancer, sitting with her as she weeps.  Show me that love is sacrifice and giving when it hurts, because Jesus sacrificed it all for us.

You tell me that Jesus IS love, so show me love by showing me Jesus.  Tell me about him.  Write his words on our walls.  Leave me notes on my mirror, reminding me of his goodness.  Help me memorize his words.  Don’t say good-bye to me even one more time without reminding me who I am in Jesus: cherished, loved, forgiven, and free.  I need that, Mom.  I need that more than you realize because it’s a tough world…

When you were my age, did you ever wish you were someone else? There are times I wish that, Mom, so love me just as God made me, just as I am.   I’m so imperfect, I know.  Give me confidence in God to work on me and to make me more like him.  Love me in my mess.

Sometimes I wonder if God loves me less in my mess.  Through my tears, tell me God’s love doesn’t lessen on bad days or grow on good days.  Remind me it’s maxed out for me every single day because of what Jesus did on the cross.  Reassure me that I don’t have to be perfect or earn God’s love (or yours), but show me how to humble myself & repent, giving it all to him. Then, will you be brave enough to share with me a time you messed up?  When I know you mess up too, I know I’m not so alone.

And in those moments I feel alone and I’m being stubborn…when I hurt you and don’t want to hear anything you’re saying, I beg you.  Show me what love is.  Be firm, but forgive me, Mom.  Show me that no matter how far I go, forgiveness is there.  Confirm what God’s grace is…that its waiting when I’m ready to come home.  Prove that your affection for me hasn’t changed and that you’re ready when I come to the end of myself.

Imperfect Jesus-Lovin' Mess T-shirt from Matchless Beauty

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Because that’s really what love is.  It’s what God’s done for you and for me.  It’s love in action with no strings attached.  He loves perfectly and never stops.

I know we can’t expect perfect love from each other, Mom.  After all, we need the refining love of God just as much as everyone else. But because you show me (and the world) love with your imperfect life, now I can choose to show love to the world, too.

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What would you add to the ways moms can show love? Comment below!

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