Devotion 2 of 6 is about your daughter flourishing through  favorable planting.  The word “flourish” means, “to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as a result of a favorable environment.”    These devotions focus on 6 factors that will help your daughter flourish like a flower.  To read more about the series “Flourish”, click here.

Favorable Planting

Gardeners know that flourishing flowers require careful, favorable planting.   As a mom, do YOU provide “favorable planting” for your daughter so she can flourish into who God created her to be?

In our first devotion, we covered the right space and light for your daughter.  For devotion 2, we are considering how she flourishes with depth, direction, protection, and season.

Depth

When I go to the local nursery, one factor I consider is the planting depth the flower needs to flourish. When it comes to your daughter, do you consider her depth?  The world needs more girls & women who are concerned with what’s beneath the surface.

Before Samuel chose David as king of Israel over his seven older brothers, God said to Samuel,

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”  1 Samuel 16:7

The heart is so important to God.  And how precious is a girl’s humble, soft heart to her Father!

A girl who flourishes is encouraged to go deeper in her relationships with others and Christ.  Nurturing depth in your daughter can be an hour-long discussion when you go out for ice cream.  Or it can take place during several, intentional moments throughout the day, such as driving to swim practice, eating dinner together, or winding down for bed.
And those moments that encourage depth may begin with what happened at school or what’s going on in a friend’s family.  But they end with what matters most: connecting it to your daughter’s character, seeing others through God’s eyes, what it looks like to love others, etc.

Start small and don’t be discouraged if you get little response.  Work at it and be intentional.  Then listen and engage graciously.

Favorable Direction

Did you know if you’re not careful, you can plant flower bulbs upside-down?  It’s not to say they won’t eventually bloom, but it makes the job a lot harder.

Some parents take that approach with their daughter’s faith.  They mistakenly believe that by not pointing them in the “right” direction, they’re giving them freedom to choose what they feel is best.

However, as Christians, we know that anytime you don’t point a child “up” to Christ, you’re pointing them “down”.  There’s no neutral way to point them.  Look at what God says through his servant James:

“…Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”  James 4:4

Your daughter is either being pointed toward friendship with God or the world.  When helping your daughter flourish, “plant” her toward an intimate friendship with God.  Throughout the day, she’s faced with temptations.  Pray with her, pointing her to Christ who desires an ever-closer relationship.  And don’t assume that because you take her to church or youth group that she’s squared away.  Keep reminding her and never take the neutral approach or you’ll find yourself pointing her away from her Savior.

Favorable Protection

The most beautiful, flourishing flower gardens are protected.  Gardeners are careful to protect plants from choking weeds and extreme temperatures by covering them with mulch.

Does your daughter feel protected?  If she feels safe in her environment, your daughter will flourish the way God created her.  Some simple ways are to know her schedule and location.  Enforce a reasonable curfew.  Know who is coming and going from your home.  Know her friends, their families, and their contact info.  Be aware of what is going on at school.

Sleepovers

I know it’s a controversial stance, but consider NOT allowing her to attend sleepovers.  As a kid, I attended sleepovers, but times have changed.  Sexual exploitation and child pornography run rampant (along with the acceptance of pornography in general).  Keeping your daughter from the slumber party experience will not break her childhood.  But one unsupervised experience at a slumber party could.  I’m by no means saying this is God’s steadfast word, but for more information about this viewpoint, check out the link at the end of this post.

Instinct

In high school, I really wanted to go with some friends to San Antonio.  It was three hours drive.  My mom trusted me and my friends.  However, she didn’t want me driving that far unsupervised.  I got angry, complained, and sulked, but she stuck with her decision.  Her experience told her it was a bad idea.  Now, I appreciate her protection.

Part of helping your daughter flourish is to trust your instinct about a situation or person in your daughter’s life.  Some girls have a lot of naivety and some are blessed/taught to have situational awareness.  Whether your daughter is extremely trusting or cautious, mama, your job is to be kind, but firm and protective. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to be the “bad guy” and say no.  She may not appreciate it now, but your experience trumps her desire to enter a questionable situation.

And if your daughter is showing uneasiness about a person or situation, don’t brush it off.  Pay attention.  She may not feel comfortable expressing her thoughts, so don’t be afraid to step in.  You’re modeling to her how to pay attention to her God-given instincts when something doesn’t feel right.  You’re showing her it’s ok to say “no”.

Favorable Season

Not every plant grows in spring and flourishes in summer.  Flowers flourish in particular seasons, just like us.

What kind of season is your daughter in?

• A busy season, needing your help managing her time, talents, and emotions?
• A sad season, needing your nurturing love and quiet presence?
• A challenging season, needing your consistent discipline and gracious forgiveness?
• A season of independence, needing your verbal encouragement and more time on her own?
• A season of natural transition, with puberty around the corner?

As girls, we, too went through a whole gamut of seasons, right?  And we either flourished or didn’t get the love/action/support we needed to come out on the other side successfully.

Regardless of your past, evaluate your daughter’s season and the one coming next.  Pray for her and ask God to give you wisdom to parent her well.  How you currently parent her may not be what she needs 6 months from now, but God is already there and can give you exactly what you need to help her flourish.

Conclusion

These are just four ways you can create favorable planting for your daughter.  I hope they got you thinking and that you’ll leave a comment!  Next, we will focus on favorable soil for your daughter: rich with no weeds.  Please come back!

Questions

1.  When is the best time to ask your daughter questions that will take her deeper?  What can you ask her this week?
2. What can you do this week to help point your daughter towards Christ?
3. Are there areas of your daughter’s life that need better protection?
4. How can you pray for and help your daughter flourish in her current season?

Links

Why My Family Doesn’t Do Sleepovers

 

 

 

Mom, have you ever had that dream that you’re running in slow motion?  You know, like the bad guy or giant toddler or t-rex is chasing you and in your dream, all you know is that you have to run as fast as you possibly can?  You’re not sure where, but you gotta split, like, NOW.

So you start running.  But there’s just one problem.

You’re running in sloooooooow moooootion.

Running in slow motion

You look at your legs and they’re moving quickly.  You should be going super fast and that t-rex’s teeth should be far away in your rear view mirror by now.  But no matter how hard you run, you’re moving about as slow as a two-year-old on a Sunday morning before church.

That’s the struggle of our lives sometimes, isn’t it, moms?  Feeling like no matter how fast we run, we’re still going in slow motion?

I felt that way this morning.  I was asked to meet up with some special people in my life and all I could think about was what hasn’t gotten done yet, as well as what would continue to NOT get done if I agreed to go.

“I feel like there’s no time to get anything done well,” I wrote in my journal to God. “I feel like I’m moving in slow motion, no matter how fast I move.”

Sound familiar?

In our minds, we know we all have the same number of hours in a day.  And we all feel like we’re barreling through each day and that at the end it seems like it flew by.

But when we look back, it’s as if our list hasn’t gotten shorter.  It’s as if our list of to-do’s and check-off’s and commitments remains as long (if not longer) than ever.  That’s what it feels like…running through life fast while accomplishing the list in slow motion.

As I journaled about this frustration, God spoke to my heart, though, and I want to share it with you, mama, in hopes of easing your busy heart a bit.  God helped me realize two very simple truths you need to know today.

Simple Truth #1:  What God asks me in eternity

It’s true we are all moving quickly towards eternity.  Each and every one of us, whether we are believers in Christ or not.  Time does move swiftly and I don’t believe that’s just a perception.  But no matter how quickly time flies, we will all reach eternity.  And when we get there, what will God ask us?

Will God ask, “How much of your list did you get done with the time I gave you?  Was your agenda accomplished?”

Or will He ask, “How did you bring glory to my name in the time I gave you?  Was my agenda accomplished?”

If moms consistently live in the mind frame of “How much of my list did I get done?” we will always, ALWAYS feel like we are running in slow motion.  Focusing on the check-marks of life will perpetually discourage us because as time races forward, our list continues to grow.  I’m reminded of Jesus’ reply to Martha as she accomplished tasks instead of sitting at Jesus feet like her sister:

  “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:42

So then the simple truth here is this:  moms, we must fight against our single-focus frame of mind that simply says “get it all done”.  Instead, we must slow down to ask ourselves, “What does God call me to today that has eternal impact?”  Then pray that God will give us grace and help us take care of the details.

Simple Truth #2:  Important things take longer

All the important things we don’t find on our checklist, but that God calls us to, simply take time.  Things such as giving time to our children when they talk, spending quality time with our spouse, ministering to a hurt friend, baking a meal for a sick neighbor, taking your daughter out for special time together.  If these were simply check-mark items, we’d probably allot them five to ten minutes, check it off and say, “Moving on!  What’s next?”

But all of these take time…our time, yes, but the gift of time that God has given us.  THIS is really what our time on earth is for.  And I don’t know about you, but I find that when my heart is focused on God, the time miraculously accommodates for it all.

Of course we’ll always need to get things done.  It’s not an option to NOT fix dinner for the kids or to NOT pay the bills or to NOT go grocery shopping.  While we are here on earth, we’ll always feel the pull of the sacred tasks with the everyday grind.  But it doesn’t have to bring us down.

And that t-rex you’re running from?  That isn’t from God.  It’s the pressure you put on YOURSELF to run faster with added,  mostly unnecessary to-do’s.

So as you’re looking at your day and week ahead, ask yourself this:  are my to-do’s balanced with the eternity-focused areas of my life that just naturally take longer?  And if not, what to-do’s can I sacrifice for God’s agenda, the agenda that naturally takes longer?

What next then?

Today, moms, if you’re running in slow motion, I encourage you to stop running for just a few.  In the quietness of your heart, evaluate if your tasks and moments are really a part of the big picture.  Ponder if you can let go of some things in favor of what’s best.

I bet if you stop to take a breath and look at the big picture of eternity, those feet you’re running on will start to feel a bit lighter.  And who knows?  Maybe you’ll even find time to turn around and ask that t-rex if she wants to grab some coffee and talk for a bit.