I’m driving in the car, talk radio jabbering away, my daughter in the back seat.  She’s quiet, I’m quiet.  We could sit there, life blurring by, driving to the grocery store without speaking but 2 sentences.  Then I realize:  this could be a “moment”.  You know what I mean by “moment”, right?  I mean a spur-of-the-moment opportunity to connect with her, learn something new about her, show interest in who she is and what she thinks about.  I can catch a glimpse of the deep, matchless beauty inside of her and the little glimmering gems hidden in her mind.   To show I notice and care.  Although it’s tempting some days (okay, most days) to use that car ride/free time/5 minutes/sitting across the table from her to turn off the brain or pick up the phone, that moment won’t be now!  What do you say, mom?  Time to be intentional!  Time for a spur-of-the-moment!

Here are 15 spur-of-the-moments you can have with your young daughter that don’t take much planning (along with some conversation starters):

1.  Color with her.  Girls love to color, so color along side her and ask “If you could feel the color purple, what would it feel like?”  Then listen.  Ask her what each color would feel like and share what you think, too.

2.  Invite her to dance, even if for just one song.  Show her your “mom dance” and ask her to show you what the “daughter dance” looks like.  See if you can imitate each other’s dances.

3.  Ask her opinion about your outfit that day and for suggestions on what accessory to add.  Listen, then give one a try (even if it looks a bit crazy).

4.  Go for a short walk around the block and ask her “If you were a season, what season would you be and why?”  Hold her hand.  It won’t be that small for long.

5.  Sit & snuggle on the couch with her and ask, “What would you like to do for others when you get older?” (This is a very different question from “What do you want to be when you grow up?”)  Listen and encourage her passion.

6.  Bake together, even if it is something quick with “just add water” directions.  Help her measure and calculate.  Be gracious with messes.  Ask her “If you could open up your own bakery, what kinds of baked goods would you sell?  What flavors?”  Clean up together.

7.  Play a card game or board game with all electronic devices in another room.  Remember what it was like to just stop and play games?  Ask what her favorite game or kinds of games are and share with her what yours were when you were her age.

8.  Teach her a game you played when you were her age like cat’s cradle, Chinese Jump Rope, hand clapping games (for some great ones, check out: http://funclapping.com/ ) .  Tell her about who you played them with and ask her what she enjoys playing most with her friends.

9.  Go to a local thrift store and find a fun, cheap little gift to give to each other from the home decor section.  Ask her what her favorite color is nowadays so you know how to shop for her.  Ask her who she imagines some of the more interesting items that you see there belonged to.  Talk about what charity the profits from the thrift store go to.

10.  Make greeting cards together to send out the next day for loved ones.  Use computer paper, markers, paint, stickers, whatever you have on hand.  Ask her, “Who do you think would really love to get a card from us?”  and “What kinds of words of encouragement should we write?” 

11.  Tell knock-knock jokes.  They’re classic, corny, easy to look up on your phone, and are always good for a laugh when you have a young daughter.  Ask her if she can think up any good ones.

12.  Make hot tea and sip it together.  Add lots of honey and daintily munch whatever crackers you have on hand. Chat in your best British accents and give each other proper or silly names such as Mrs. Belvidere or Miss Fluffinshorts.

13.  Play charades.  Act out different members of your family or various animals.  My daughter loves the PBS Kids show “Wild Kratts” so half the time, I’m at a loss for whatever complicated animal she’s acting out that she saw on the show, but it sure is fun.

14.  Draw pictures together with your eyes closed.  Get out some drawing paper and have her close her eyes.  Tell her to draw something specific on the paper, keeping her eyes closed.  When she’s done, have her open her eyes and have a good laugh together.  Then you do the same and take turns.  Laugh and laugh some more.

15.  Wherever you are together, just talk and ask.  Seize the moment to ask her questions, listen, talk, and build your relationship.  Questions like…

• If you were a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would you be?
• What do you think makes you unique from every other girl?
• If you had hair like Rapunzel, what would you do with it?
• Are you looking forward to being a grown-up? Why/why not?
• Who has been doing well with your teacher at school?
• Who do you know at school that we can pray for?
• How can I be praying for you?
• Do you think you’ll drink coffee when you’re a grown-up? Why/why not?
• What do you like to do to relax?
• How can I help you be the best “you” this week?

These little spur-of-the-moments may not be earth-shattering, mega-life-altering, taking-her-to-Disney-for-the-first-time moments, but added together, they’re worth far more.  I’m sure your sweet daughter will agree.

What spur-of-the-moments have you had with your daughter?  Please share!